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Within minutes of walking into her first sex party at the since-shuttered Chelsea sex club “Decadence,” Dana Humphrey was attracted to a stranger in one of the so-called “play rooms,” the place where guests dispense with the small talk and swiftly hook up.
“It was really easy and fun,” Humphrey told The Post, who started pleasuring the man right away. “Everybody’s already stripped down so you can see what their bodies are like. You can pick who you want for the night and say no to anybody you don’t.”
Her X-rated experience in 2017 was a far cry from the conventional sex she’d enjoyed with the four previous lovers in her life as a self-described “serial monogamist.”
Now Humphrey has written about the dramatic shift, which she calls “my awakening,” in her new memoir, “May All Beings Be Fed: Playing with Consciousness,” (Hybrid Global Publishing), out now.
The 38-year-old chronicles her sudden transition from a woman who needed to be told what a “three-way kiss” was into a “spiritual and sensual” being who indulged in wild, simultaneous sex with people of both genders.
“I’ve been on a spiritual path for a while now,” she said, revealing that she authored the book to “be solid in my truth” and help remove the stigma of polyamory, the practice of engaging in multiple relationships with the consent of everyone taking part.
Still, despite prejudices and the limitations brought by COVID, the adjunct professor at Baruch College in Manhattan maintained that polyamory among 20 to 40-somethings is currently “rampant” in New York, “especially in Brooklyn.”
Humphrey — who juggles her part-time teaching of graduate students in the subject of “luxury marketing” with her jobs in p.r., life coaching and organizing trade shows — believes those indulging in this more modern form of swinging now realize what their sex life has “been missing.”
It was certainly the case with her. Until 2015, she said she lived with a long-term boyfriend in Queens and that they “usually had sex in the missionary position,” since her partner, in particular, was not “open” to other suggestions.
After they broke up, Humphrey developed a stomach ulcer triggered by stress and explored ways to heal the problem outside of conventional medicine such as clean eating and transcendental meditation.
Then she met the woman who introduced her to “The Lifestyle” — a term for the worldwide community of couples and singles who have casual sex with other adults — at an alternative health workshop. The primary care physician, whom Humphrey calls “The Doctor” in her book, started out as something of an innocent girl crush. But, when the GP disclosed that she’d had sex with more than 100 people and kept a “little black book” of partners, Humphrey was intrigued.
The polyamorous doctor, who was two years older than her, began asking Humphrey to enjoy kisses with their male acquaintances. “I wanted to impress her so I said: ‘that sounds fun,’” Humphrey said.
“I’d been straight my whole life. But my identity was being melded and I thought: ‘Maybe I’m a lesbian, too.’ ”
Soon after meeting, she slept with the doctor for the first time and they started having sex with others, too. “It was a whole new level from the Tinder dates I’d had before,” Humphrey said. “These people knew what they were doing.”
They went to sex parties every week at venues like Decadence (the $50 entry fee was waived for women.) Next, they spent successive weekends at hotels in New York and New Jersey having orgies with like-minded men and women.
“[The men] would sometimes hire out an entire floor of a hotel,” Humphrey revealed. “I was jazzed and exhilarated about having multiple [climaxes] in one session.”
However, she ended her romance with the doctor in January 2018, put off by a combination of jealousy and, Humphrey said, her girlfriend’s “controlling” nature.
Now dating men and women she tends to meet on apps such as “Her” and “Feeld,” the Far Rockaway resident no longer goes to sex parties but, she said, remains happily polyamorous.
And, looking back at the unexpected discovery of her preferred lifestyle, Humphrey concluded: “I’m grateful I’ve been exposed to this sexual freedom.
“Why limit yourself to being monogamous when there’s so many other beautiful, delightful and pleasing options?”
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